A Question of Character

Do you know how many children our Prime Minister has? Does anyone?

Even Wikipedia is not sure, just take a look. It says he either has 5 or 6 kids. That’s extremely vague and it is somewhat disconcerting to me, that no one knows the answer.

Even Wikipedia doesn’t know for sure

Why hasn’t anyone in the media asked Boris Johnson about this? It seems fairly basic to me. If you can’t trust a man to tell you how many children he’s fathered, how can you trust him with anything else? If you misrepresent this, what else are you not telling the truth about?

I appreciate it is a complex question, and the answer is probably not as straight forward as you might think. And I would suggest, that there is more than one right answer to this question, depending upon how the question is framed.

If a journalist asked Boris outright, how many children he has, I expect he would reluctantly provide an answer. This answer would become the number of children Boris acknowledges and it would solve Wikipedia’s conundrum for them. We would have an answer we could attribute to the Prime Minister, and that would end the debate. Except it wouldn’t.

It wouldn’t end the debate because there will be another answer, to a slightly different question, and that number would be higher than the first. The problem with this number, is it will only be known to Boris and his attorneys, as it is the number of children Boris supports financially. Those pesky court-ordered paternity tests are an annoyance, but reaching a settlement with a non-disclosure clause probably makes it all alright. So this number is out there, but it will remain a mystery. 

The third number, which is the actual number of children sired by Boris, is unknowable. The only being in the universe to have this answer, if he or she existed, would be an omnipotent god. Even Boris wouldn’t be sure. There will be terminated pregnancies, there will be paternity denials, and there could even be some children born, that have no idea he is their daddy.

Put it this way, if you are aged somewhere between zygote and around 40 years old, and you have floppy blond hair, an innate ability to say random things in Latin, and your momma never told you who your daddy is… Odds are your daddy is Boris Johnson.

Boris is a born liar. Boris lies so much during the day, that sometimes when he gets home at night, he is just too darned tired to lie to his girlfriend. He lies about everything. He was sacked from the Times for lying. He even lied to the father of a sick baby girl, about the press not covering his hospital visit, while the cameras were in the room and filming! Boris even lied to the Queen. He just can’t help it. Boris lies, the way the rest of us breathe, naturally, and without much thought. Lying is his gut instinct, go to strategy, to get himself out of everything. And he doesn’t seem to mind when he gets caught. 

Why is the media so complicit in all of this? How can a politician be given a pass on issues of trust? If you can’t trust a man to tell you how many children he has, how can you trust him on literally anything else?

Character matters. Honesty matters. And it starts with a really simple question: Mr. Johnson, how many children do you have?

The northlondonhippy is an anonymous author, cannabis evangelist and recreational drug user, who has been writing about drugs and drug use for over 15 years.  In real life, the hippy is a senior multimedia journalist with over 30 years experience of working in news.

The hippy’s book, ‘Personal Use’ details the hippy’s first 35 years of recreational drug taking, while calling for urgent drug law reform. It’s a cracking read, you will laugh, you will cry and you can bet your ass that you will wish you were a hippy too!

“Personal Use” is available as a digital download on all platforms, including Amazon’s Kindle, Apple’s iBooks and Barnes & Noble’s Nook. The paperback is available from all online retailers and book shops everywhere. 

You can also find the northlondonhippy on Twitter: @nthlondonhippy

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