By all rights, I should love the LibDems. They want to stop Brexit, and they want to legalise weed, two things I would like to do, too. I really should support them, but I don’t. I can’t. Not this time. 

Do you want to know why we are having a General Election right now, and not that mythical second referendum on our membership in the EU? Jo Swinson’s Liberal Democrats refused to join a government of national unity because of their twisted dislike of Jeremy Corbyn. 

All a government of national unity had to do was sort out a referendum. Their agreement on the terms of a caretaker administration, would have included a ‘no new legislation’ clause. In other words, all they would have done is maintain the status quo until the referendum and then the subsequent general election. And then maybe, Brexit would have finally been sorted, one way or another. Instead, we get a general election around Xmas. Ho ho ho.

Swinson’s attacks on Corbyn have left me cold. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a huge Corbyn fan, but I do respect him. He is one of the most consistent politicians I’ve ever come across, with policies that would be popular with people, if they got to hear about them. But instead, the negative campaign run against Mr. C consists of personal attacks and twisted facts. But Jeremy Corbyn doesn’t trade in personal attacks, so it’s all very one sided and unfair.

I have nothing against personal attacks, if they are warranted. For example, Boris the bully from the Bullingdon Club, has earned the personal attacks aimed at him. I really want to know how many kids he thinks he has. No one can ever really know for sure. He’s a racist, and a liar. Those are undisputed facts, unless you drink the Kool-Aid served up by the Tories. Then you dismiss the overwhelming evidence of Boris Johnson’s utter lack of character, and you press on. 

Jo Swinson would say she attacks BoJo and Corby equally, but it is a false equivalence and you can’t lump them both together. If anything, I bet Swinson’s voting record is more closely aligned with Johnson’s than Corbyn’s.

If you Google Jo Swinson, the first suggested search term is ‘voting record’. It’s not pretty reading. Austerity, the bedroom tax, and university fees, to name just a few of her greatest hits. She was part of the Tory-led coalition, which is the root cause of many problems we have in our society today. Go Jo!

I didn’t live in the UK in the 1980’s, but I know plenty of people who did. They are not fans of Maggie T, not by a long shot. I can’t imagine Ms. Swinson’s campaign for a statue in Thatcher’s honour is a vote winner either

Ms. Swinson says that she wants to stop Brexit and I believe that is true. She also wants to increase the LibDems seat count, which is also true. The problem is where these two goals collide, like in Canterbury and High Peak, where the local candidates stood aside, to allow another remain supporting party a free run at the seat. Jo Swinson”s Liberal Democrat’s won’t allow that, and have imposed new, outside candidates to take their places on the ballot. It seems that the need for seats outweighs the need to stop Brexit, as that is their primary priority. It is extremely disappointing. 

One might say that because I am a north London media, liberal elite, that I would automatically support Labour. There is a kernel of truth to that. I don’t like to brag about my liberal elite status, but sometimes, when I go to McDonalds, I supersize my meal…AND I upgrade to a shake. But only sometimes, I’m not rich, like that uppity Jacob Rees-Mogg. I heard when he goes to McDonalds, he supersizes, he upgrades to the shake and he gets a McFlurry too. Not one of those little bitty mini ones either, but full sized. Shhhhhh, don’t tell nanny!

The reason I mention my media background is because I am coming to the point of this piece. “Jo Swinson’s Liberal Democrats” is terrible branding. I feel like some PR agency pulled a fast one by appealing to her vanity and turning her into the literal face and name of the party.

Have you see the bus? Jo Swinson’s Liberal Democrats’ Bus. Have a gander:

I can just imagine the creative agency’s pitch meeting. Have you ever seen the Monorail episode of The Simpsons? 

“Jo, you have tested through the roof with our focus groups. People love you! So we want you to be the face of the campaign. Every leaflet will have a small headshot of you on the front, and a larger photo of you on the back! 

And have you seen the bus? A close up of you, full bus height! Gorgeous! And, are you ready for this, you will love this! We are going to rebrand the whole party as “Jo Swinson’s Liberal Democrats!”

A breathless, jubilant Jo Swinson’s shouts, yes, yes, yes! Where do I sign?

I can actually envision this being very close to the truth.

And when I first heard about this new branding, this was my immediate thought, now expressed in graphic form:

It sounds like a band name or an improv group struggling to break through at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. It makes the party sound like her personal possession and plaything. And that shit is plastered all over her campaign bus! It’s a branding faux pas on an epic scale. It’s the ‘New Coke’ of political reinvention. 

I’m lucky, my local MP is as anti-Brexit as they come. My MP voted against triggering Article 50, and yes, my MP is a Labour MP with a sizeable majority. But I still checked a tactical voting website to see what they recommended. And you know what, they recommended I vote Labour for the best chance of stopping Brexit. I was going to do it anyway, but it’s nice to know it’s tactical too. 

If I lived somewhere else, where voting tactically for a LibDem candidate made sense, of course I would do it. They’re not a bad bunch of people, even if their election branding is bad this go-round, and they have a history of propping up Tory governments. What matters most in this election, is stopping Brexit. Sky News have nailed the branding, they are rightly calling it the “Brexit Election”.

All of our votes count, but they really, really count this time. Your vote matters, do your homework, work out which party in your constituency is best placed to win and stop Brexit. Then hold your nose if you need to, but vote for the party helps Britain remain in the EU. Your county’s future depends on all us, including and especially, you.

The northlondonhippy is an anonymous author, cannabis evangelist and recreational drug user, who has been writing about drugs and drug use for over 15 years.  In real life, the hippy is a senior multimedia journalist with over 30 years experience of working in news.

The hippy’s book, ‘Personal Use’ details the hippy’s first 35 years of recreational drug taking, while calling for urgent drug law reform. It’s a cracking read, you will laugh, you will cry and you can bet your ass that you will wish you were a hippy too!

“Personal Use” is available as a digital download on all platforms, including Amazon’s Kindle, Apple’s iBooks and Barnes & Noble’s Nook. The paperback is available from all online retailers and book shops everywhere. 

You can also find the northlondonhippy on Twitter: @nthlondonhippy but only if you look really hard.