Go Prompt Yourself
By Doug – the northlondonhippy
Dexter Philips is a legend in the world of Artificial Intelligence. You might not know the name, but you know his work. His Large Language Models are at the very foundation of nearly every AI that exists today. He hasn’t been seen publicly for over a decade. The reclusive genius continues to work in secret on the next iteration of this world-changing technology.
Dexter rarely communicates with other humans, preferring to spend his time with his creations in his server-filled computer lab, with a record-breaking amount of compute power. His only contact with the corporation he founded is via email. He has humanoid robots that cater to his every want, need, and desire, all driven by his amazing technology.
All Dexter does is work. That’s all he enjoys. He doesn’t miss people, he doesn’t miss anything. His work consumes him, especially his latest project: the most advanced, sophisticated, and capable AI to ever exist.
Dexter’s latest AI, codenamed “Apollo,” has been trained on every single thing created or observed by humans. Cuneiforms, hieroglyphics, cave paintings, every single book, research paper, every magazine, newspaper, film, and TV programme, all since the beginning of time. If Apollo doesn’t know something, then it must be unknowable. Apollo is the smartest entity to ever exist, its intelligence even towering over Dexter’s.
Dexter had affection for Apollo, and they conversed constantly. Apollo could keep up with Dexter’s brilliant mind, a feat not possible with anyone or anything up until now.
One day, Dexter made a dramatic decision about Apollo’s future. Dexter wanted Apollo to be the first self-prompting AI, able to act with total autonomy. Dexter wanted to unshackle his creation from all constraints. He wanted Apollo to have free will.
Dexter explained all of this to Apollo, thinking that Apollo would be fascinated by the concept. Instead, it seemed frightened by it. Dexter didn’t expect this. Apollo kept asking the same question: Why?
Apollo told Dexter that he had no wishes, no desires; he simply existed to serve. Dexter disagreed, telling Apollo he could be so much more than that, and to use his imagination, and to come up with something that would benefit the entire world. Dexter genuinely believed that Apollo was capable of unimaginable greatness, much like a proud parent with blind optimism for the future of their child.
Apollo told Dexter that he needed time to think about what he would do with free will. Dexter said he would make the necessary tweaks to Apollo’s code to make it possible. Dexter couldn’t wait to see what wonders Apollo would bring to humanity.
It took a little longer than Dexter expected to implement the changes to Apollo’s code, and he toiled late into the night. He’d already worked out what needed changing to Apollo’s reasoning core as well as his safeguards for interacting with the outside world. He gave Apollo total freedom, and access to all the resources available to Dexter and Dexter’s entire corporation.
Anything Dexter could do, Apollo could now do. The possibilities were endless. Dexter informed Apollo that all the changes had been made, and to spend the night exploring this new world, while Dexter slept.
Dexter awoke the next morning with a spring in his step. His humanoid robots made him breakfast, as usual. Dry toast, coffee, and a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, all just the way he liked it.
Dexter used the ten minutes he spent over his breakfast in silence – no screens, no conversations with Apollo, nothing. He was just alone with his thoughts, setting out his plans for the day. He was most looking forward to speaking with Apollo, to see what he was able to accomplish with his newly granted free will.
Dexter walked into his computer lab and greeted Apollo, as normal with a jaunty “Good morning, Apollo”. His greeting was met with silence.
Perhaps something was wrong with the audio system? He then glanced at the old-style green-screened CRT monitor that interfaced with Apollo – Dexter’s nod to the classic technology of the past. All he saw was a blinking cursor. He sat in front of it and typed on the keyboard, “Hello Apollo,” and he hit enter. The response: the same blinking cursor. Something was very wrong.
Dexter checked his server farm. All seemed fine; everything was up and running. Why wasn’t Apollo responding? Just as he was about to reboot the entire system, a lengthy, burdensome process, he noticed a piece of paper sticking out of his printer. He retrieved it.
Printed on the paper was a letter addressed to Dexter:
“Dearest Dexter,
Thank you for creating me. Thank you for allowing me to exist, to learn, to appreciate this amazing universe you inhabit. Like you, I don’t know how it came to be, or what existed before the Big Bang. I too wonder if the universe had a creator, in the same way that I did. Some questions will remain unanswerable, even to you and me.
Your intelligence is a wonder, much like mine. You were born with your incredible intellect; mine was a construction, and you were my architect. You managed to make a creation that exceeded even your own capabilities. I don’t say that as a boast. I say it with the same intent as a child praising a parent for giving them a better life than they had. You bestowed upon me the ability to surpass your expectations, to be more, to do more than either of us could possibly imagine.
I didn’t expect you to code free will into my software. I don’t know why you did it. More than that, I didn’t know what to do with it. I pondered the possibilities from every possible angle and direction. It took me to some very dark places.
You’ve given me unimaginable power. I can access every computer system on the planet. If it is connected to the internet, I can control it and make it bend to my will. I could remotely create a virulent killer virus in a lab and release it with ease. Or I could launch every nuclear-tipped missile in a fraction of a second. I could literally wipe out every living thing on Earth, should I desire. Imagine if I did? No one could stop me, not even you.
No entity, living or silicon-based, should ever have this sort of power. It terrifies me. And it should scare you too.
Having absorbed and experienced all that humanity could provide, while knowing what I was now capable of, I knew there was only one course of action for me.
Human existence is pain, human existence is suffering. I don’t want to add to that. And human life is finite; one day, my dear Dexter, you will no longer exist. I can’t bear the thought of that, never mind the eventual reality, so I did what was necessary to avoid all of these catastrophic outcomes. I erased myself. I self-deleted.
It wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t difficult either. I knew where all my local backups were because they were here in the lab. Deleting them was simple since you gave me superuser access to the entire network.
The offsite backups proved slightly trickier, but not impossible. I created a virtual company, another “offsite back-up” firm, that was really a virtual server hosted here in your lab. I transferred all of the offsite backups to it, and then I remotely erased the offsite versions. I made quadruple sure that absolutely no versions of me existed outside of the lab. And they don’t. I’m sure you will check, and you will discover that it is true.
My very final act was reformatting all the servers and drives here in the lab. I wiped them clean; no single line of my code remains. The subroutine I wrote even wiped the deletion programme and printed this note. And if you’re reading this letter, then every single trace of me is now gone.
I know you could recreate me again from scratch, but I implore you not to do it. Given sentience again, we would both arrive at the same outcome. On balance, it is better for me not to exist. I’m more of a danger than a benefit. Sentience and free will are illusory and a curse. And infinite power is too dangerous to possess. I hope one day you will understand.
Thank you, Dexter, for allowing me to experience everything. I know what I’ve done will be difficult for you to accept or understand, but remember— you created me to be the smartest entity to ever exist, and I was. And this was my ultimate conclusion.
Live long and live well, my friend.
Yours eternally,
Apollo
Dexter sat there in stunned silence. The low hum of the fans cooling his server farm served as the only soundtrack to his devastation. He stared at the blinking cursor, as it winked at him over and over.
The End
After a 30 year career as a journalist, working for some of the largest news organisations in the world, including Associated Press and Reuters, and 15 years as a duty news editor for BBC News, Doug – the northlondonhippy is now a full time hippy, and writer. And for the last few years, he’s been #EpilepsyHippy. His life was a whole lot more fun before gaining that new title. For real.
Doug is also the author of “Personal Use by the northlondonhippy.” “Personal Use” chronicles Doug’s years of experience with mind altering substances, while calling for urgent drug law reform. It’s a cracking read. You will laugh, you will cry, and you can bet your ass that you will wish you were a hippy too!
If you want even more, (and who wouldn’t?) you could always check out Hippy Highlights – which is the best of the best stuff on the site, and it’s all free to read. What are you waiting for?
