Tag Archives: High Hopes

It’s OK to be afraid

2020 version!

We are living in unprecedented times. Nothing has come close to what we are going through right now, with COVID-19. And it is going to get worse before it gets better. 

It’s OK to be afraid.

I’m scared, but then I have read that I have reason to be scared. 

Hypertension, high blood pressure, which I have, is one of the leading risk factors for death from the coronavirus.  My risk of death is 5 times higher as a result of my high blood pressure. I take pills to manage it, I monitor my BP frequently, and it is under control, but it still increases my risk of death. 

Old age is another risk factor, I am pushing 60. The older you are, the more at risk you are. The NHS is not equipped or resourced enough to deal with this pandemic. Five cases out of 100 infections will require intensive care and we simply do not have the beds, the ventilators, or the staff to cope with what is about to come. 

I am assuming if I catch it, I am going to die and I don’t think this is an unreasonable view of my situation. And a death at home due to respiratory failure, is a death I do not wish to contemplate. So yeah, I am scared. 

It’s OK to be scared.

I am full time carer for my partner, and have been for the last few years. If something happens to me, she is on her own. So I can’t let anything happen to me. So I won’t.

Last year, I had a breakdown myself. It was a bad one. Though be honest, have you ever heard of anyone having a good one? It’s not something I have mentioned much online, so far. 

I nearly checked out of life last year, I was really low. I am saving the details for my book, “High Hopes”, assuming I survive long enough to finish it, and anyone is left to read it when I do. 

For the first time in over 20 years, Mrs. H and I are in a position where we can move out, leave London and take it easy. And this stupid virus is fucking it all up. 

I planned on house hunting in March and April, and if I found a place, moving by June. Clearly none of that is going to happen, if I am self isolating like an old person for the next few months, or longer.

If this pandemic hit a year ago, I would have simply and quietly surrendered to it. But a year later, with new found freedom, determination and some rare optimism for the future, and I want to do all I can to survive.

I think the government advice so far has been far too weak. We are in the period where people are walking around infected, without showing symptoms, and spreading it. We can slow this bullshit down.

Our Prime Minister, Boris Johnson is not letting this pandemic interfere with taking weekends off, and he has not been seen for a few days. That’s probably a blessing, since all he did during his last press conference is tell us that everyone we love is going to die. Not exactly channeling Churchill there, is he? Can we get Boris an empathy coach?

A reassuring PM

Now is the time for social distancing and self isolating. Don’t wait for the government to advise it. And no, clearly I am not a doctor, or expert, but I have a lot of common sense, and that is what I am using to guide me and my decisions. If the government won’t exercise good judgement, then we will need to do it for ourselves. Just look at how other countries are coping and the fallings here so far, become more apparent. 

It’s OK to be frightened, it’s OK to be scared. None of us have ever experienced anything like what is going on now. The unknown is scary. Our leaders indecision and inaction, is scary. And potentially dying from this horrible virus, or losing loved ones, is scary too.

We can do this. We can survive. Common sense, and caution. If you can stay home, do it. If you need to go out, keep lots of distance between you and anyone else. Act like you have it already, and act like everyone else does too. And wash your damn hands! A lot!

It’s OK to be afraid. I’m a grown-assed man and I am scared. But I am not going to let my fear rule my life. I am going to survive this, and so are you! And hopefully, when we all come out the other side, we can keep making this world a better place. Just hang on to your optimism, we are going to need all we can get!

After a 30 year career as a journalist, working for some of the largest news organisations in the world, including Associated Press, and Reuters, and 15 years as an overnight duty news editor for BBC News, Doug – the northlondonhippy is now a full time writer, hippy, and drug law reform campaigner. 

Doug is also the author of “Personal Use by the northlondonhippy.”  “Personal Use” chronicles Doug’s first 35 years of drug use, while calling for urgent drug law reform. It’s a cracking read, you will laugh, you will cry, and you can bet your ass that you will wish you were a hippy too!

Doug’s next book, “High Hopes” should have been published by now, but it is hard to write a book about remaining optimistic in the face of adversity, during a global pandemic. Try it yourself!

For the last year, Doug has spent most of his time hiding away from a killer virus. Bet many of you have too. 

You can find Doug –  the northlondonhippy on Twitter: @nthlondonhippy


I was a background artist on the BBC’s Ten O’clock News

(Photo taken Sept 2012, on my first NBH nightshift)

I have worked in the media for the past 35 years, the last 30 as a journalist. But the role I am most proud of, is my work from 2013 to 2019, as a background artist on the BBC’s Ten O’Clock News.

I didn’t start out at the BBC as a human prop in the background of the network news. From 2004, I worked there as a senior broadcast journalist too.  

(TVC at dawn)

When the network news teams moved from Television Centre, into New Broadcasting House, in the spring of 2013, I got to make my on-air debut as a background artist. We don’t like to be called extras. Using that word only diminishes us. 

There’s a good chance you might have spotted me during one of my many recurring appearances. I played “journalist rushing between desks”, a role I put my very heart and soul into, night after night.

I joined the BBC less than a year after I left Associated Press Television News. I worked at AP for around a decade, as a field producer, cameraman and news desk editor. 

When I left AP, I had only one career goal, to work for BBC News. I eventually wangled an introduction via an old friend to the right person and started freelancing in the Spring of 2004. I got my first contract in the autumn of that year and was a member of staff until earlier this year, when I left their employ. 

BBC News initially hired me as a World Duty Editor, working on the foreign desk, and I started out on the nightshift. Fifteen years later, I was still only working nights, and still working in effectively the same job. That’s half of my thirty year career as a journalist. Go me.

It wasn’t easy, joining the BBC later in life. There was so much jargon and BBC-speak, that I felt lost for the first 6 months I was there. And it is just so big. There was a lot to learn to do my new job. I was lucky that a couple of people, and one in particular, helped me get up to speed in those early days. Otherwise I would never have lasted long enough to become a background artist, when the time finally came to have that very small, yet vital on-air role. 

(That’s BBC News foreground artist/newsreader Huw Edwards on-set, with background artists/journalists behind him)

If you’ve watched BBC News on TV in the last 7 years, you no doubt noticed that behind the main set where Huw Edwards sits, is the actual BBC newsroom. That’s where I worked, that’s where I sat. If you think the CCTV surveillance is bad where you work, imagine having it broadcast to millions of people, night after night, in high definition. 

When we first went live from NBH, everyone was extremely uptight about what those of us in the background might do. Journalists are notoriously unpredictable, just ask any politician. 

We were discouraged from standing up and we were told not to wear bright colours. On one of the early broadcasts, someone had a hi-vis vest on, as they were preparing to depart and cycle home in the dark. It stood out, like hi-vis yellow is meant to do. But it was noticed by management, and hi-vis clothing was quickly banned from our shop floor. I think it still is to this very day. I hope that’s not a trade secret!

For the first couple of weeks, a squad of spotters patrolled the newsroom floor during BBC One network news broadcasts. They were in direct contact via radio headsets, with managers watching screens in the gallery. It was the spotter’s job was to quickly rush over on command from the gallery, to point out when people violated the rules of behaviour in the background. Mainly they just barked at us to “get down”. A lot. It was weird. I bet they had experience working as baby wranglers on a nappy advert before this gig.

As I mentioned, I only worked nights, and the Ten O’Clock news went out within the first 90 minutes of my arrival. In that time, I really would be rushing around, trying to speak to people who had been on all day, asking them questions, about what happened while I slept. Once they went home, that was it, I was on my own, so it was always good to get as much info as possible from them.

I had an actual, operational need to be in constant motion. So my character, “journalist rushing between desks” had motivation and a rich and complex backstory. I hope you agree it allowed my performance to be more multilayered, nuanced, and convincing.

The patrolling spotters didn’t like me, or care at all, why I had to move around during the news. I was yelled at more than once, to “get down”. It was about as much fun as it sounds. 

When they told me to “get down” I had to constantly resist the huge urge to jump up on the desk and shout “gimme a beat!” and then do my best choreography.  But then I would remember I was a short, fat, bald, middle-aged guy, with zero dancing skill. It was always a crushing blow. 

What was worse, is for maybe the first 6 months of being in the new building, my colleagues were constantly telling me they spotted me on TV during the news. 

It was always the same. My shift would finish around 7am, I would pass someone on the spiral stairs, or near the revolving doors, or outside on the piazza, and they would say, “I saw you on TV last night”. Or “you sure looked busy buzzing around behind Huw”.  Or my personal favourite, “you looked like you were in a hurry last night.” Of course I bloody was! I was “journalist rushing between desks”!

As nice as it was to be complimented by my peers for my convincing performance, in truth I would have preferred to have never been spotted. I never asked to be a background artist. I was happy enough, just doing my real job as an overnight, duty news editor. 

My specialty at BBC News, if I can call it that, was breaking news. When something unexpected or unforeseen occurred in the middle of the night, that was when I got to shine. Earthquakes, plane crashes, any disaster really. And high profile deaths too. Good news never happens in the dead of night. Only bad.

In my job as a duty news editor, I was responsible for organising the BBC’s initial response to big, breaking news and I’ve dealt with a huge range of stories, from the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami in Asia, to the Grenfell Tower fire in 2017 and many, many more. If you watched any TV news in the last 30 years, there’s pretty good chance you saw something I had a hand in covering. That’s not a boast, it’s just a fact. 

And even though I’ve lost track and count of the number of major and minor events I have covered in the last 30 years, they have had an accumulated effect on me. How could they not? Professional detachment can only get you so far. 

I still find it hard to let go of the enormity and horror of Grenfell, and I still have the occasional nightmare about it. And it still hurts many years later, to think about friends I’ve lost in the line of duty. There is a personal cost to my former line of work, and everyone ends up paying for it, eventually. 

After a period of ill health last year, and my subsequent recovery, I decided to leave the BBC. It wasn’t an easy decision, but I know it is time for me to move on. I’m a full-time hippy now, something I have secretly wanted to be for a very long time. 

I will cherish my time at BBC News, and as a journalist. It was great place to work, full of smart, dedicated, hard-working people.  And even though new challenges and adventures hopefully await me, I know I will miss that very special time when I was a background artist on the BBC Ten O’Clock News. 

I understand they have had to recast my role. It wouldn’t be the BBC News without someone portraying “journalist rushing between desks”. I wish my replacements nothing but success and all the best, as I do to all my former colleagues. I will miss you all.

Doug – the northlondonhippy

4th March 2020

(That was me, 15 years ago)

After a 30 year career as a journalist, working for some of the largest news organisations in the world, including Associated Press and Reuters, and 15 years as a duty news editor for BBC News, Doug – the northlondonhippy is now a full time writer, hippy, and the United Kingdom’s very first cannabis evangelist. Hallelujah and amen to that!

Doug is also the author of “Personal Use by the northlondonhippy.”   “Personal Use” chronicles Doug’s first 35 years of drug use, while calling for urgent drug law reform. It’s a cracking read, you will laugh, you will cry, and you can bet your ass that you will wish you were a hippy too!

“Personal Use” is available as a digital download on all platforms, including Amazon’s Kindle, Apple’s iBooks and Barnes & Noble’s Nook.  The paperback is available from all online retailers and book shops everywhere. 

You can also find Doug –  the northlondonhippy on Twitter: @nthlondonhippy but only if you look really hard

Personal Use – Book Montage

Copyright: All words and photos are copyright the northlondonhippy…

except the screen-grab of BBC News, which is used fairly without permission, but with affection. 

Another countdown

[wpcdt-countdown id=”714″]

Sixteen years ago, on the 4th of March 2004, I posted my first ever entry on the original northlondonhippy Blogspot blog. It was a long, rambling piece, introducing myself. It didn’t get seen by many people, but it kickstarted this thing that I am somehow, still doing. Sixteen years later, I am still pretending to be a make-believe hippy online. The pretending ends, next week.

On 4th March 2020, exactly sixteen years to the very day, I will be publishing a piece online that pretty much identifies me. It’s an extract from my forthcoming book, “High Hopes”, which is the follow up to my first book, “Personal Use”.

Personal Use

If you know me in real life, then you will learn I am the hippy. And if you know me online, then you will find out who I really am. Everybody’s finding out something, even me. I’m going to find out if I can really be a full time hippy.

I’m ready to start working again, so once this piece goes live, you can hire a hippy. Details will be available here on my website of what I can do for you, and your media organisation. Yes, you can hire a hippy. Everyone should have one on retainer, because you never know when one will come in handy. I’m a handy hippy, and I represent real value for money. Ask me about my loyalty scheme and hippy reward card.

While I am still expecting a collective “so what” from the wider world to my public revelation, should there be any media interest, I will be available to any and all media organisations that might wish to speak to me. Don’t all queue up at once! 

Doesn’t matter how big or small your outlet might be. For the first fortnight after publication, I will say yes to any legitimate requests that I can physically do, in person, on the phone, or via Skype. But check this, as it is really important. After the two weeks are up, I won’t agree to just anything, and will only say yes to things that meet my new criteria for life.

What’s my new criteria for life? Simple, I will only turn up if I can have some fun, or do some good. No good? No fun? Then no hippy. No joke.

From now on, I will be writing and campaigning full time. This is what I do now. I will have more to say on this, once my piece goes live, but I will remain open to any and all opportunities. If I do this right, you will all be sick of me in no time. Maximum effort for maximum exposure. 

I will also be offering all media organisations in Britain free training for their journalists with my new course called “Covering cannabis accurately in the age of legalisation”. Having spent the better part of three decades in British newsrooms, I can tell you that the general standard of cannabis knowledge is extremely low and woefully inaccurate. I aim to change that. I’m not going to teach any controversy, as the great British press manufacture plenty on their own. I will teach facts, science, and history, and I will give them an introduction into what a legal, regulated market looks like.

The UK is way behind the rest of the world when it comes to cannabis, and I don’t want to see us be the last country on earth to sort this out. If we really want to unleash the true power of global Britain, then the legal cannabis industry needs to be a part of it, for us to reach our true potential. Why do you think so many other territories are jumping on the cannabis bandwagon?

You might have noticed the countdown clock near the top of this page. When it hits zero, at midnight on Weds 4th March 2020, my new piece will go live online, here on my site. You don’t need to stay awake to read it, it will still be there in the morning, when you wake up. And so will I. And you all will know a lot more about me than I ever expected to tell anyone. Things change, I changed too. Wish me luck, I am going to need it. And I apologise in advance for the disappointment.

Hippy Highlights

While you wait, you can check out some of my recent output on this list of hippy highlights:

Dangerous tea!

REVEALED: The Shocking Link Between Tea and EVERYTHING BAD! – If you only read one thing on this page, read this one. It’s one of my most popular recent pieces. 

The night Princess Diana died (Extract from “Personal Use”) – I didn’t kill her, I only felt like I did

Surviving the Climate Apocalypse – Great news, you can survive the end of the world, if you are rich enough

Politi-hippy 3 – The death of Polti-hippy – There is a part one, and a part two, but this is the best part.

A Question of Character – Or lack of it, in the case of our current Prime Minister. 

Branding Jo Swinson’s Liberal Democrats – They made some mistakes, and paid for them on election day

Hating String Beans – They are now my favourite vegetable, but that’s not really what this is about

The Personal Risk of “Personal Use” – After my appearance on LBC, I wrote about being interviewed by James O’Brien

Why I Suck at Twitter – You should still follow me anyway

I Live in a Dry Country – I mean the UK, because weed is still pointlessly illegal

The northlondonhippy is an author, cannabis evangelist and recreational drug user, who has been writing about drugs and drug use for 16 years.  In real life, until recently, the hippy was a senior multimedia journalist working for a large company. With over 30 years experience of working in broadcast news, the hippy’s now left journalism to embark on a career as a full time hippy. 

The hippy’s book, ‘Personal Use’ details his first 35 years of drug use, while calling for urgent drug law reform. It’s a cracking read, you will laugh, you will cry and you can bet your ass that you will wish you were a hippy too!

“Personal Use” is available as a digital download on all platforms, including Amazon’s Kindle, Apple’s iBooks and Barnes & Noble’s Nook. The paperback is available from all online retailers and book shops everywhere. 

The hippy’s next book, “High Hopes” will be published in autumn 2020.

You can also find the hippy on Twitter: @nthlondonhippy but only if you look really hard.


A busy hippy

Not an actual photo of me

You might have noticed in the last few weeks, I’ve been more productive than usual.

I’ve been a busy hippy. 

I’ve had some free time, so I decided to solve some big issues.

For instance, I highlighted the truth about cannabis. Don’t blame weed, it is tea drinking that is the real cause of everything bad.

Want to survive the Climate Apocalypse? I figured out how it can be done. First, you need to be super rich.

I had a free hour, so I solved Brexit. It’s not pretty, but it gets the job done. You can thank me later.

I shared my memories of the first moon landing. I was 6 and a half when it happened, but I still came up with a few obscure details.

I wrote to Grandma Hippy about living in a dry country. She is imaginary, and she lives in Colorado. She digs edibles. I do too.

I received my first 12 hour Twitter ban. I tried to fight the power, but the power of stupid prevailed.

And, my fellow earthlings, I tried to convince everyone that we are all Citizens of Everywhere. It’s our only hope.

There’s not a lot to be optimistic about these days, but we can all distract ourselves from the mess we’re in. My distraction, ironically, is hope. Don’t lose hope, we can all help make things a little less miserable. This is my attempt to do just that.